My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
