My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
