why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
should my penis look like a turkey
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize