My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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