Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She's the barista slut.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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