I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life