The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me