Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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