Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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