update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
so let's talk penis.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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