ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
