So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
