I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
