I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
