I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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