bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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