So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
