So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
