i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
