It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
