so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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