I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
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Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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