Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i can juggle bunnies
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs