We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
pray to the hookup gods
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!