these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
