I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
