My underwear smells like fireworks.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Houston, we have a blender
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
