After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
