Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
