I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize