Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
