We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
