She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
