I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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