It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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