I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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