hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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