are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
