T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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