I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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