Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Blood and glitter go together right?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
