The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
