he wants to bone in the snuggie
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize