Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
