I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
