I feel great
I just peed on a car
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
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I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
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Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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