i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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