Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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