I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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