12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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