gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just took my morning after pill in the library
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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