i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
