I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
