now i know why i became what i already was.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
