pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Randomize
