I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
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I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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