Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
