so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
