Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
