Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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