I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I didn't notice because vodka
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize